


I’m glad you exist but I wish you existed closer to me

by Tiili97



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Not really sure how it ended up as it did, Only a little bit sad, Skype calls, but yeah
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-06
Updated: 2014-11-06
Packaged: 2018-02-24 08:13:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2574464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tiili97/pseuds/Tiili97
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Because sometimes Happily ever After doesn't come that easy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I’m glad you exist but I wish you existed closer to me

Alfred had rarely had a day as bad as this one.

Absolutely ridiculous amounts of paperwork, a meeting with his boss about the… incident on the last world meeting (which had seemed fun at the time, but he should know by now that any idea from Prussia that Denmark agreed with was very, very bad for everyone within a ten-mile radius) not to mention the weak but insistent headache he’d had for a while because of the economy. And of course, because his life was, in fact, a Hollywood movie, it was pouring and he didn’t have an umbrella. 

With shivering fingers, it took a good thirty seconds extra to unlock his apartment door. It was one of those extra-secure locks, requiring more than one key, because the paranoia was one of his country’s defining traits. He was kind of regretting that now, if only because it kept him out of the heat for another five seconds.

Patience had never really been a strong point, either. 

Finally he got inside, closing the door on the miserable world and letting out a sigh. Quickly, he shucked off his shoes and went for a short treasure hunt in the small kitchen, emerging victorious with a bag of chips and a half- full box of chocolate-chip cookies. Munching on one of them, he walked towards the small bedroom, ignoring the clutter occupying the hallway. His New York apartment was one of his smallest places, but it was conveniently close to the UN building where he spent most of his time. He found one of the sweaters Ivan had “forgotten” this time around thrown over a chair: Big, warm and with nonsensical designs, it was one of his favorites and Ivan knew it.  
That reminded him. Balancing the cookies and chips in one hand, Alfred fumbled out his phone from his pocket, now hidden under the sweater that reached half-way down his thighs: 7:30 pm. He had gotten home later than he thought. No way Ivan was still awake, it was way past midnight over in Moscow. 

He threw the phone on the bed in a momentary fit of anger. It wasn’t fair. Now that they’d finally worked out all the issues of their past, after all the fights and anger and pettiness – didn’t they deserve their happy ending? But nooo, they had to stay separated because of fucking politics and traditions and a whole lot of other bullshit. 

Alfred sighed, crumpling up the empty bag and throwing it over the shoulder before falling gracelessly onto the bed beside his phone. It bounced up and fell down into the crack between the bed and wall, disappearing into the dark abyss with a loud crack that promised a broken screen when he finally gathered the courage to stick his hand in there and fish it out. Somehow, this was the last drop. He knew he shouldn’t get so upset, not really, but that had never stopped him before.

“Fuck!” He said, loudly, because there was no one there to stop him. Almost by instinct, he fished out his laptop from his bag, opening it and typing in the password on autopilot as he pondered over how much he hated being alone and what he could do to fix this problem. He could call Mattie, of course, but he always got pissy if he called when he and Cuba was hanging out. Especially this late at night. Prussia and Denmark were out of the question because of the… incident, and… 

His computer, finally done booting up, was lighting up in flashing icons and pinging noises, the Skype message icon displaying no less than ten messages. Alfred clicked it quickly, a warm, electric feeling filling him as he saw whom they were from.

7:14 AM Greatest_Hero: gtg dude work

7:14 AM Greatest_Hero: See u tmrw <3 

 

7:15 AM IvanBraginski: Have a nice day at work!

7:15 AM IvanBraginski: <3  
\-------------------------------------------------  
5:36 PM IvanBraginski: Alfred

5:36 PM IvanBraginski: Are you home yet

5:52 PM IvanBraginski: It seems not. Good night then

6:55 PM IvanBraginski: You are still not home?

7:05 PM IvanBraginski: I could not sleep, so I thought I’d talk to you for a while

7:05 PM IvanBraginski: but you seem to be working late

5:05 PM IvanBraginski: again

7:06 PM IvanBraginski: Alfred you really have to relax

7:07 PM IvanBraginski: Please be more careful or I will be forced to kidnap you

7:07 PM IvanBraginski: again

 

Alfred read through the messages quickly, not even bothering to hide the huge smile they brought to his face. Ivan’s icon was still glowing green, and Alfred hurriedly started typing.

7:35 PM Greatest_Hero: Hey man I’m back

7:35 PM Greatest_Hero: just got home

7:35 PM Greatest_Hero: Wanna call?

The message instantly stopped the little writing icon hovering over Ivan’s name, and Alfred laughed a bit, waiting for the other man to start the call. After one occasion where they had spent about fifteen minutes both trying to start the call only to have it accidentally blocked by the other, it had been decided that Ivan started all of the calls. 

The image was blurry: Ivan had never bothered to get anything more than a basic camera, and the darkness around him wasn’t helping. It was still enough for Alfred to be able to make out the familiar face and the tired smile that adorned it, and the restless feeling that had been growing in twitching fingers and shrill laughter suddenly settled down into a content hum in the back of his head. 

“Hey Vanya, what’s up? What time is it even over there? How was your day?” He smiled broadly at the image of Russia.

“Hello, Alfred. I’m fine, a little tired. It’s half past three at night, as you well know, because your phone has the time for Moscow right on the start screen. I hope your day wasn’t as terrible as your late arrival would suggest?” Alfred laughed, if only because it was what he did. 

“Naw man, don’t worry. No problems for the hero!” The words left a bad taste in his mouth, but he smiled brilliantly anyway, because making Russia worry when he’d already stayed up way late to talk to him was just not cool. He knew from experience that the Hollywood smile and heroic proclamation were more than enough to derail most countries into either an argument or loud sighs.

He should have remembered that Ivan was in fact **not** most countries. 

Ivan’s familiar blurry smile was gone, replaced with an equally familiar blurry frown.  
“Alfred, you know that does not work on me. Was your day really that awful?” Ah, a concerned frown, no less. There was really no escaping the worried frown. Alfred had learned this the hard way, when after trying to act cool after a huge fight with Mattie he had blown off Ivan’s concern and ended the call to avoid further scrutiny.

Ivan had showed up on his doorstep the next day without a suitcase or wallet. His security detail had never really forgiven him for that one. 

Alfred dropped the smile, rubbing his hand over his eyes as he finally let the weariness from the day sink in properly. Better get it over with, then.  
“A little bit. Maybe. It was mostly my fault, anyway. You remember that stunt Prussia and Denmark and I pulled? Yeah. That was most of it.” Ivan didn’t say anything, just nodded in sympathy and made a kind of “go on” gesture. Alfred took another breath. “But I came in late, too, so I had to stay extra for that, which was fair, so I ended up dealing with the backlog of paperwork from the last meeting. And then Artie called, which was nice of him and all, but you know how he is.”  
There was silence for a moment. “And it started raining on the way home and my umbrella is gone again.” The last part was almost whispered.  
Alfred didn’t like admitting to weakness, to feeling anything less than awesome, but Ivan had a way to cut straight to the core of the matter and wouldn’t stop until he’d admitted to everything. Part of Alfred was still upset about that, upset over the danger of giving someone the power to ruin you, lay all of your weaknesses out for the world to see.

He knew Ivan wouldn’t, though, and that was the beauty of it.

Instead, he sighed, and smiled, and suddenly Alfred felt a little less terrible.  
“You never do anything half-way, do you, Alfred?” Alfred laughed then, a little, and it was okay. His fingers were twitching again, but now with the want to reach out and hug this beautiful man. He said as much, and was rewarded with a rare embarrassed smile and it was almost just as good.  
Ivan had always been a physical person, just as Alfred, although he was less expressive about it. But he always, always accepted Alfred’s hugs and touches and kisses, no matter what.

They talk about trivial things for a while: Complaining about bosses, discussing astronomy, whining about the economy, (Alfred) the weather (Alfred again) and the latest family outing (both of them).  
Some words are still not said, but not out of fear but because they are obvious in their shared anticipation for the next meeting and the momentary pause and soft smile on Ivan’s face when he notices the sweater Alfred is still wearing. 

_I love you._

_I miss you._

_I wish you were here, with me, because my life doesn’t feel complete without you._

After a while, Ivan starts yawning, and Alfred himself isn’t far behind. They’re both reluctant to end the call, but when Ivan almost falls asleep on the keyboard they’re forced to admit defeat.  
Alfred can glimpse the slowly graying darkness behind Ivan as he says goodbye and almost apologizes for keeping him awake for so long. He doesn’t, if only because Ivan ends the call before he has time to and he doesn’t even have time to start pouting about it before new messages lights up the screen.

8:42 PM IvanBraginski: <3

He smiles, eyelids heavy now, and types back a quick reply before shutting off the computer.

8:42 PM Greatest_Hero: <3

**Author's Note:**

> For my own girlfriend on the other side of the Atlantic ocean.


End file.
